SUMMER CAMP AT 30?

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                I know I promised to return to normal after my last more personal and kinda preachy (I can admit it…) blog. This is nowhere near that level, but I do need to take a moment to get out some personal joy I experienced this past weekend and there is no better way to do that than to write it down right? Trust me, there isn’t. Sometimes you can’t think of the words to express the great things you have seen or heard or learned, but personally I can’t always think of the words to SAY them to people, I can to write them. SO here it goes.

                        I am not a nature type person. I have always hated pretty much all things that have to do with nature, like sweating from the heat, being hot, being cold, and rocks in my shoes, insects, arachnoids, and animals of all types, mold, fungus, trees, and leaves. Well, not all things – there was a time when mud puddles were some of my favorite toys, but I am Heather and these things happen. I NOW hate mud puddles as they make my feet wet, and that could make me cold and that sucks. So needless to say, though I did enjoy playing outside when I was a kid, I liked to do it on pavement, in very populated areas. Other then my excursions to the county fair for 4-H things, I didn’t want to do wilderness or camping and I didn’t. This is important to bear in mind because the place that literally made me happier than happy can be was a camp. Like a real camp. For a woman whose catch phrase is “I don’t BELIEVE in nature” this is strange, right? It could be, and the decision to go was not one I made lightly.

I got an e-mail from the Pride Center of the Capital Region that if I was interested, they were looking for counselors for their first ever summer Leadership Day Camp for LGBTQA Youth. I love the work I do with my Youth Group kids, and I knew a few of them were going. Also, the Pride Center of the Capital Region is staffed by people who are very good at their jobs, but more than that by people who every day go out and try to make a difference through their professional and personal lives. These are people who astound me every day, who do what so few are willing to do and do it publically. They are honestly amazing people who I love to work with and learn from literally every time I see them or work with them. Then there are the kids. Going into this I only knew a quarter of the kids going to the camp, but the ones I did know, they are amazing. They are these kids who stand up and say no, we aren’t normal and we won’t bend to the pressure of society to try and make us normal. We aren’t going to lie down and date people of the opposite sex until we get to college to make you happy. These kids, anyone who meets them could never believe the things you hear about kids today. They aren’t the mean little cliques who exclude anyone outside of the bubble they have made for themselves. They are the kids who stand back, look around to see who is being excluded and then walks over and sits down with them. I could write blogs and blogs, and books full of the greatness of these kids, just the ones I knew going in. Now that I went and met the rest of them – well, neither my talent is good enough or my life long enough to write the praises of the kids I was privileged enough to meet this weekend.

Anyway – I got this e-mail and at first was like UM yeah, is that gonna be in a Hotel or Nature, because I think we are having a definition issue here – camping for me is where it’s not my sheets on the nice actual bed and it’s not my preferred brand of toilet paper. Then I realized it was a day camp, so there was a pause in my immediate NO. I have been behind this idea since the start. A camp where LGBTQ youth and their allied friends can come and relate to each other in a completely safe environment - that is an idea I can completely get behind! So, despite my loathing and chosen methodology of not believing in nature I said Yes – sign me up Scottie…more accurately sign me up James, but I digress. So I signed up. Now, I did this in typical Heather fashion, so the week before I was out until late each night leading up to and running around to get ready. We went, and I have never done anything like a leadership camp before, as a youth or adult and it was a little nerve wrecking. What happened in actual detail that is for the youth and adults that were there. I can say that at the end, looking at these kids sitting in a circle debriefing the first year, begging for it to go longer, I was very emotional. I don’t like to cry in front of people, and managed not to, but these kids and this staff, and my fellow volunteer AC’s, and the EMT/nurse/tech who also came as a volunteer…words cannot describe the bond I feel with them all. If any of you have seen a new saying on twitter #hotterthanhot, and if it is annoying you, e-mail me, I will do the whole cheer for you and you can blame my partner in crime, fellow crew AC and new platonic life partner/soul mate for it.

In all seriousness I saw that future LGBTQA youth isn’t waiting to take up the fight when we are gone, they are already joining in. The best feedback I heard from a camper was that he woke up for it on Saturday morning going oh yeah, going to gay camp – but left after the whirlwind two days just having gone to camp. There were specific workshops geared towards LGBTQ issues of course, and it was a constant conversation topic. However, many of the kids don’t see this as anything special, because they are members of the LGBTQA community, and they don’t see it as weird to talk about it or learn about it. So these kids signed up for a LGBTQA Leader Ship Day Camp, and really just got a Leader Ship Day Camp. There were some issues here and there, things we could do different, maybe even better. But every single kid learned, had fun, made a friend, and felt like they final had a place where they were free to be them, that it was okay to like who they like, identify however they identify and know that there is honestly no judgment and no fear. That my friends was a beautiful beautiful thing, and unless you have seen something like it, you may understand what I am saying, but it may seem cheesy to you, because you do not get it. Watching them, I kept having this quote from my all time writing mentor Superstar Joss Whedon (told you, will almost ALWAYS bring it back to him) in an introduction video in 2011, he said “…I want to make some noise. I want to make a joyful noise, I want to make too much noise. I want the neighbors to complain. I’m tired of being polite about something that matters.” Yes I do Mr. Whedon, and so I have been and what I learned this weekend is so do this amazing adults and youth, and so we have and so we will.

Now, I would say I promise next time will be a normal sarcastic/sassy blog, but apparently I was wrong last time so I make no promises. Thank you for indulging!

AN OPEN PLEA TO FUTURE GENERATIONS ON HIV/AIDS

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                        This is an issue that I care very deeply about. It is not one that directly affects me, but I have felt deeply about it since child hood, and more so since my tenure at UAlbany. There I meet some of what I truly believe to be the kindest people around, and one of them was named Jamal. Jamal and I became fast friends, and he said it was because I liked to listen and he liked to talk, so we were made to be friends. Jamal is not someone that I ever really broadcasted our friendship, or that I felt needed to be connected with at all times, neither one of us were that people. Every morning before class and every day between our classes, if we weren’t with other people we migrated towards the fountain. We always met up at the same picnic table in nice weather, and near the same vending machines in bad. Jamal was an older guy, a returning student who had had life take some nasty turns on him and who was trying to accomplish some goals in his life so he could make peace with his past before he died. 

              See, Jamal was a very sick guy, had been sick for many years. It was the third or fourth time we were talking over cigarettes (yes, I smoked, deal) when he let me know that he was infected with the AIDS virus, not HIV, he made it very clear that he was one of the unfortunate ones that had progressed to the full blown virus. I remember him watching my face very closely as he told me, and I also remember controlling myself. Not for the reasons why he was watching me, but for my own. He was sure that this was the end of yet another blossoming friendship, as the stigmatism and fear of HIV/AIDS still controls society whether they want admit it or not when it is presented to people’s faces. NO, I was controlling my emotions, because if Jamal could see that I truly didn’t care that way about his diagnoses, I also didn’t want him to see my fear not of him but for him.

                        I looked at him, said Okay and went back to talking about how annoying it was that you couldn’t sit at the tables next to the fountain without getting sprayed. He got a little choked up, smiled and moved on as well. The flood gates seemed to open from that day forward however, and I learned that no matter the advancements, no matter the treatments, HIV and AIDS are still horrible diseases that tear at your body, mind and soul. I learned that part of what had advanced the disease in him was HIV drug resistance that causes the cocktails to become less and less effective, and allows the system to be more susceptible to the AIDS virus once more. I listened to the fact that even when they work, the drugs often make a person just as sick if not even worse than the virus itself. I realized over time that yes, it is a treatable disease – then in the early 2000’s, even more now. However, it is still one of the worst diseases that can attack a human being. More so then ever Jonathan Larson’s haunting lyrics in RENT hit home as you listen to the stories of throwing up, crying, wishing it were all over – will they lose their dignity? Will anybody care?

                        One day late in the first semester of my senior year, as I always knew would happen, Jamal let me know he was pulling out the next semester. Sporadically we e-mailed back and forth, but slowly the e-mails were shorter, some were even confusing. Then they stopped. I don’t have the confirmation on it, but in my heart, I know they only stopped because his body gave out, and he finally got to lie down and stop fighting. When I said earlier understand, he was not an older guy where he had white hair and could have had grand babies. He was in his mid-thirties when we met, about a dozen years older than me.  I know that he, as many were in the 1980’s, early 1990’s was a promiscuous gay youth who did not believe he was anything other than invincible and therefore did not feel the need to practice safe sex. Though the HIV/AIDS crisis was in full gear, he was a stupid kid that felt it could never happen to him. Here is where my plea comes into play. I work with LGBTQA youth regularly. I facilitate youth groups, and I am involved in the first ever LGBTQA camp this summer in the Upstate NY Capital Region. What terrifies me is the attitude they have towards HIV/AIDS. Sadly, it is the same attitude I see in most of today’s youth and even young adult generations. That this is a thing of the past, that the fight has been fought and that they are safe. THIS IS NOT TRUE. If you look at the numbers, due to these attitudes and people straying from safe sex and regular testing, infections are again on the rise.

 DO NOT FORGET HISTORY – when they say those who forget it are doomed to repeat it, it’s true. Trust me, I was a history major and you can see the truth of that statement in all of the books. If we for one second forget the beginning of HIV/AIDS in this country in the 1980’s we will have another one. We CAN NOT let that happen. This is a NON-DISCRIMINATORY disease people. It attacks first, and NEVER asks questions. Left untreated, it escalates quickly and unforgivingly. Please educate yourselves. Please practice safe sex. Please remember every time you sleep with someone, as much as you roll your eyes or think we are old for saying – YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH EVERYONE THEY HAVE EVER SLEPT WITH. We must restart the fight against HIV/AIDS. Yes, Mr. Larson, sadly many of them will lose their dignity – but I also answer YES – I will care. About every one of them. Every time. And even if it is just me, I will be fighting the fight, and letting them know that someone cares. Please, join me. Click below, donate even a dollar, or walk, or fund raise yourself. Please, REMEMBER

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 http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/heathermarlette/AIDSWalk2013CapitalRegion

YES I ADMIT IT I AM A SARATOGA HORSE RACING JUNKIE

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                I am a horse racing convert. I used to be the person who refused to go to the Saratoga Springs, NY race track because of perceived “abuse” of horses. Being a country girl who was lucky enough to be around horses and take horseback riding lessons, I was convinced that I had to hate the track and all it stood for. So the first time I went, I went very grudgingly. Then, I started having a good time. It was against my will, but it happened. The picnic like atmosphere, the goofy hats, the betting and of course the actual races drove me to the dark side. OH and I do not see how after spending even just an hour at The Spa, one could not be a convert…or as I have become a Saratoga Springs Horse Race Track junkie.

                I am not a huge better, if I bet more than $20 in a day at the track; it is because I made money on a race. I take about $25 for myself, and $25 for my wife, and we go. We are not clubhouse or grandstand ladies though – we are picnic area residents. We take our cooler – no glass, but of course – and we pay our $3 admission. We sit in about the same area every time, near the main gate in the shade of the trees, in between the 2 sets of monitors, across from the big monitor and kitty-corner to the betting veranda. No electronic betting for either one of us – you have to have a person. I have a few tellers that I switch between as I go, and they are familiar because I have used them for years. Of course, if you lose on a ticket, you have to move to a new one, and I generally stay with men – which the people reading this and who know me, are thinking that is slightly ironic…what can I say enigma here people. It is not about big bets or anything like that for me. It is simply fun. Not to mention, these are beautiful animals. They are graceful and strong, and the ones I tend not to bet on are really fast…

                I like to walk around the track in between races. I mean, where else can you see people mingling in such a way. You can walk to the “vendor” area and check out the hats, portraits and anything else that has anything to do with horses, racing or Saratoga that you can imagine. There is always some kind of band going, generally a jazz or horn ensemble. Let’s not forget the dancing that they have – generally a few good tap or jazz couples, it is a very entertaining turn. Visiting the Big Red Spring is always on my list – not that I drink from it, that is what bottled water is for! I love to go up to the rail for dirt races, not turf ones. I find the horses racing, kicking up dust in front of the infield gazebo to be a beautiful sight. I want for the call to post like a 5 year old waits to see Santa Claus, and get a goofy smile on my face every time. It is a very specific experience for each race course junkie, so not everything that I state here is going to apply to you – but this is my feeling, my reaction – it is the thing in my life that can automatically take me back to having that kid-like excitement, that makes me forget the trials and tribulations of being an adult.

                So how can I make such a turn around that my favorite activity from July – August (activity mind you, Shark Week is still my happy week, it just falls in this time period) is something I used to think was deplorable. I guess all I can say is that I opened my mind up and tried something new. I have talked to other people who are all about horses, either they ride or own them, and I haven’t found many that think horse racing is any kind of abuse. Yes, I talked to people because as much as I enjoy it, and as much fun as I have if the animals are being abused, I need reassurance that I am not causing pain to any of the magnificent animals that run there. At the end of the day, do I think horses are happier wandering fields and trails in the country – maybe, yes? I have never seen abuse though, and most owners, handlers and jockeys take excellent care of the horses in their care as they are the tool to run and win races that can make them very rich people.

So, I will go and I will continue to picnic the days away while watching my favorite jockeys = namely John Velaquez, Javier Castellano, Joel Rosario and my personal jockey hero – Rosie Napravnik who this year became the first female jockey to run in all three Triple Crown races (Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes and Belmont Stakes) but she had a number five finish in the Kentucky Derby and a third place finish in the Preakness, the two highest finishes in these two particular crown races by a female jockey. She is known as not a great female jockey but simply as a great jockey, and that is impressive in such a male dominated sport. Between my favorites and the other jockeys, the horses and the atmosphere, I will continue to go to the Saratoga Springs Race Track and place my meager bets. For any who are still Spa hold outs, I highly recommend this great upstate New York tradition. 

IT’S A WRAP SHARK WEEK – UNTIL NEXT YEAR…SHARK WEEK 2014 – NATIONAL HOLIDAY??

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                        With the beginning of my happy time comes the knowledge that in a few days time, shark week will be over for the year. I always enjoy the programming, but every year I have a worse feeling that the true essence of what shark week once was is disappearing. 26-years ago, this was a week of what it set out to be – using the popularity of television and channels like the Discovery Channel to bring attention to the most misunderstood, scapegoated animals roaming – technically swimming – the planet today. Over time, there have been many changes to the weeklong programming, which incidentally is considered the longest running cable programming with 26 consecutive years having it.

            For 16 years Shark Week was aired with no host from 1987-2003, and for some reason the Discovery Channel decided that in 2004 they needed to remedy this. In 2004, the cast of American Chopper hosted, and then in 2005 the hosts continued up to this year. From 2005-2009 the hosts were the popular faces of the Discovery Channel, then in 2010 it all kind of went to hell. That was the year when there was no need to be a scientist at all to host shark week, with late night talk show host/actor Craig Ferguson taking the helm. Discovery Channel stayed with funny men, and in 2011 it was Andy Samberg, 2012 brought Philip DeFranco – online journalist, social media icon and this year we had comedian/actor Josh Wolf as our Shark Week Captain. Okay. I do not truly know why they ever introduced a “host.” I did not mind so much when it was the MythBusters, Les Stroud (Survivorman) or even Mike Rowe who had some kind of connection to Discovery Channel and added to the programming. I can almost give them this year, as Josh Wolf showed an enthusiasm that led to high ratings and interesting conversation on the new addition Shark After Dark a late night talk show that blew away the competition this week.

                New additions are nothing new to shark week. Every year they save the primetime rating hours (generally 8 PM – 11 PM) for their new shark programming. Every year they have about 5 – 7 new shows that they premiere to the devoted and often outspoken shark week fans, and yes, in that description me is included. More and more though, I have noticed that they are getting away from the shows that drew me in to begin with. I am not quite sure when shark week turned into Great White and a few other more well known Sharks Week but it does appear to have. There are few exceptions lately, and especially this year. I will give you that the above mentioned Shark After Dark was quite enjoyable. I will also say that I enjoyed Air Jaws: Beyond the Breach, but it was not as good as Alien Monster Sharks, Spawn of Jaws and Return of Jaws. For new programming, that was about it.

I am a huge Air Jaws but this behind the scenes look seemed to be just an attempt to fill a time slot with the progression of the scientist team over the years – but we have seen them, we know who Chris Fallows and Jeff Kurr are. I am excited to know they have a show coming next year, searching for Colossus who was introduced in last year’s Air Jaws. We have seen them get shot after shot people told them they never would – their shows depict the Great White as an apex predator, and not as a Great White Serial Killer – do NOT get me started. The rest – please. Great Whites are starting to target and hunt humans? Voodoo Sharks had potential had they gone with the Bull Shark science, but instead they chose to follow the people hunting down the non-existent giant mutation of Bull Sharks and I couldn’t even make it through it. The updated Shark Countdown was ridiculous and seemed an attempt to throw some new names out there and have some kitchiness going on. AND OH THE GREAT WHITES.  

Is Discovery Channel aware that there are other sharks? Not just the Bull, Tiger, Sand Tiger and Hammer Head, but Blues, Whale Sharks, All Reef Sharks?? How about more on the deep water sharks, or some specials on those who hunt the sharks and why? Instead of some REALLY STUPID AND NOT WELL DONE mockumentary – I mean, did you see those special effects? – how about an expose on Finning or sports hunters. That is really all I can say on that. That mockumentary was a disgrace, and defending it by saying well, you know, maybe Megalodon is out there, it’s a big ocean is UNFORGIVEABLE. With the seriously just flashed disclaimers that showed for seconds at most, people believed that show. They thought that this was a documentary presenting real evidence and there is no excuse allowable for Discovery not making the truth clear before the show, going to and coming back from each commercial break and at the end. Despicable.

I get that the attack shows and the Great Whites draw people that are not geeks, shark enthusiasts and science aficionados in for ratings but for some of what happened this year…wow. I will vote for more Shark After Dark, and even I enjoyed good old Bob the Shark and who could not get into the Snuffy promos. Shark enthusiast, including myself, can only hope that Discovery Channel takes a look at their programming and realize that when you are presenting this information to the public as a whole, they take it as their shark knowledge and run with it. Most people aren’t like me and my fellow sheeks (yup, that is how I refer to us shark geeks, you know you love it). They won’t go out and learn about sharks on their own. They aren’t going to research the details, or study the history. They don’t want to; they trust the Discovery Channel to present them with the actual facts, not theories, skewed views and outright lying mockups. So yes, I still love me some Shark Week, and can NOT wait for Shark Week 2014, I just hope that there is a return to basics somewhere in the future.

A GREAT NIGHT OUT FOR ONE OF THE OLDEST PRIDE CENTERS IN AMERICA

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                So, sometimes you get a reward for giving back. I am a facilitator for the Pride Center of the Capital Region’s Youth Groups in Albany and Schenectady counties. Trust me; this gig is easier than it sounds, because these are good kids. It is great to see these kids, who may have no support other then within those walls during the hours of Youth Group thrive in an environment they feel safe in and that they have found family in. I honestly do not need a reward other than this, and look forward to the day when we succeed in expanding our groups to more counties and helping more LGBTQA youths out. You do get some though, and Saturday August 10, 2013 I got to attend a special Gala for the Pride Center, with a Dame Edna Performance…and it was fabulous, darlings – or should I say possums…

                A quick background – Dame Edna is of course the famous creation of Barry Humphries, who is an Australian comedian/performer. He started her simply as Edna Everage, an Australian housewife who he used to comment on the Australian Suburban life. She got more outrageous as performances grew throughout the decades, to the current well-known, oft recognized lilac haired, cat shaped glasses, outrageous dresser known today. She also got elevated to Dame Status. Humphries still performs as her (though he said he would retire her in 2012, and is still going). There are many imitations, but he will always be the original!

                I got to see a performance by a great Dame Edna performer who has not only gotten the blessing to perform her from Humphries, but performed with Humphries at a special tribute to him for his birthday back in 2010 – Celebrity Impersonator Michael L. Walters. He and Humphries share another tie – Humphries provided the voice of Bruce the Shark in Finding Nemo and Walters originated that character in the live performance at Disney World. Walters has been performing as the Dame since 2001, and has traveled much of North America with his spot on and delightful impersonation.

                The performance took place at The Mansion Inn Bed & Breakfast just outside of Saratoga Springs, NY, where Mr. Walters returned for the third consecutive year this year by popular demand. One of the nights was dedicated to the Pride Center, as I said above and it was a great night. To be able to enjoy a night out with the people who like me work with the Pride Center in either a professional or volunteer role was great. All the money earned was for the Pride Center, and it was a wonderful experience all the way around. As we go through this contentious time in ours and other societies LGBTQ communities world over, to see the people who strive to protect, lobby and educate us having a good time and enjoying each other’s company, that was priceless. Thank you to everyone, to the Pride Center’s staff, to the Mansion Inn and their staff and of course to Mr. Walters and his partner. I hope that as we all continue on with the fight for equal rights for all, the laughter we shared on an unusually chilly night in August will keep us smiling in the hard times as well as the good.

MY OH MY THE SHARKS, THE FINAL- I SWEAR

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

The main event now – the number one coolest shark according to yours truly. The Tiger Shark. This species is literally in a class itself, being the only species in the Galeocerdo genus. Overall picture, yes another requiem shark, though this shark is not viviparous, it is again the ONLY one in its class that is in fact ovoviviparous – though, I do have to admit the only real difference between viviparous and ovoviviparous is that in viviparous animals there is a placental connection and there is not in ovoviviparous, the unborn getting their nourishment instead from the yolk in their eggs. Female Tigers only mate every 3 years, generally in the months of March-May. The pups will gestate inside for up to 16 months. Again the females are often larger than the males; average length of the males is around 14 feet and 15 for the females.

They have a smaller body type than most of its rivals, with a very slim and straight-line design. They have bluish/greenish skin with a yellow or white belly. This is a great hunting advantage, as prey below the sharks will not see them when looking up. They of course have the dark stripes/spots running down their body that gives them their name; however these do fade with age. Tigers also have a smaller, wedge like head/snout, which makes turning easier for them, and have many sensory organs in their snouts and down their flanks to pick up the minutest of vibrations in the water, making them dangerous hunters since they can stay completely hidden in the dark. The Tiger Shark hunts alone, mainly at night. They are found in temperate or tropical waters, often in the central Pacific. This is a five gill shark, with 2 dorsal fins, and nictitating membranes to protect the eyes. They seem to have no real depth presence and have been recorded in water from 10 feet deep to depths of 3,000 feet.

Tigers are known for their ability and preference to eat ANYTHING from tiny fish to sea turtles – which seem to be a preference for adults. They also go after dolphins, to the point that science has evidence of dolphins avoiding areas with high Tiger Shark Populations. They are known to scavenge corpses of whales, and will actually join together to attack a whale in distress. These sharks are the epitome of the apex predator with their enhanced eyesight, sense of smell and sensory abilities. Since they have such highly developed hunting skills it is amazing that they have such a scavenger reputation that they are known in many circles as “wastebaskets of the sea.” Whether the water is clear or not, they will know exactly where their potential prey is located, and go forward with powerful bursts from their tail. They circle their potential victim, bumping it with their highly sensitive snout to investigate it – and when they are satisfied, they often take their prey whole. For larger victims it may take a few large bites. The Tiger is like a garbage disposal, and when cut open anything can be found in the stomach, from fish and turtles to horses, cats, and even rats to inanimate things like license plates, baseballs, and any other item the shark thought might be tasty. Though they like to swim lazily, barely moving their tail, they are actually quite good sprint swimmers and known as some of the strongest swimmers in the oceans.

This magnificent species has much lore around it, most notably in the Hawaiian culture. The Tiger Shark is known in Hawaii as one of their nā ʻaumākua – which is their version of a family God or deified ancestor. This type of God exists in many cultures, and is believed to be a deity or spirit that protects at least certain members of the family if not the family in a whole. It can also be tied back to the popular Hawaiian myth of Ka-moho-aliʻi who was located in the region of the waters between Maui and Kahoolawe. Mainly, when a ship was lost at sea, Ka-moho-aliʻi shook his tail in front of the lost and they would not only be feed, but also guided home. This God is often credited with being the one to bring the first citizens of Hawaii there.

There you have it. The number one, apex, best shark of the lot. I am sorry if your shark did not make my cut, but there you have it. Of course, this list is simply knowledge gathered after hearing something on a Shark Week show that piqued my interest and caused me to investigate something further. No science, nothing but my opinion and my reasoning’s. I welcome point counter point in the comments, because agree with the top ten or not you have to admit that as long as you have an opinion, the sharks may yet be saved. The Tiger, my favorite apex predator is also on the Nearly Threatened List. So many of these magnificent creatures are Nearly Threatened or at the beginning of actual Endangerment because of foolish reasons. Sport hunting the sharks, or commercial fisheries going after them for teeth, jaws, leather for shoes and belts, use in cosmetics.  They are also used in cancer research projects, but since the parts we need to use wouldn’t let them survive, they are killed for this too. Let’s not forget about Shark-Fin-Soup. This may be considered a delicacy in some lands, but most can agree it is a tasteless soup that is made to impress people not for gourmet reasons. For the sharks that are killed for Finning – the fin is less than 4% of their body weight. After they are removed the sharks are generally thrown back to die. Over 100 different species of the 450 known shark species are seen as being endangered since their long term survival can no longer be foreseen, and more on the Nearly Threatened List. For creatures directly designed from the “sea monsters” of the prehistoric era, the only true danger that they have faced is human kind – and we cry about them being killing machines, make movies depicting them as vicious, mindless killers. Irony at the highest level.

MY OH MY THE SHARKS (FINALLY 5-2), BA DUM, BA DUMP, BA DA BA DA DUH DA DAH OR YOU KNOW, HOWEVER THE JAWS THEME LOOKS WRITTEN OUT IN YOUR HEAD…

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                        Wow do I suck with the being timely on the blog…my bad, sorry sorry. So, here we have it. I know you have been waiting with baited (ha, cheesey pun totally intended) breath. It is the top FIVE hcmarlette favorite apex predators of the deep. I can say that yes, the main 3 are in here, but I am thinking you may not be able to correctly guess # 1 shark in my majorly scientific and professional countdown. On the coolness of sharks. Okay, maybe not scientific, but you have to give me entertaining…

                        Coming in at number 5 is the singular most distinctive looking shark, the hammerhead. I mean, come on – even without any further information I am right here, it is a top 5 shark. Right now, you can picture it. You see the EXACT shape of its head. These sharks can be seen to be in large schools during the day – and these are massively large schools. They will often break off to be solitary hunters during the night hours. They are located largely in the Southern and Eastern African waters, but also have been confirmed to have large populations near Costa Rica, Columbia and Hawaii. They range from 3 feet to 20 feet long, and weight goes up correspondingly from 6.6 to 1,300 pounds. The feature of this shark that gives it its name is of course the "hammer" shape head that is more commonly known as the cephalofoil. This elongated head is believed to have many evolutionary techniques behind its shaping (thought you may be missing the cheesey illusions…) but the major and latest popular theory is this came to be to give the shark the 360 degree field of vision it has with its eyes located on the sides of the hammer head – though I think it is more anvil shaped. The trade off – disproportionally small mouths, causing the sharks to mainly be bottom feeders. The mating process can seem violent as it mainly consists of the male following and biting the female harder and harder until the female always copulation. Recently there has been some evidence of asexual reproduction possibilities.

                        Number 4 on the bad ass list of sharks is the Blacktip Shark – not the Blacktip Reef Shark guys, the Blacktip Shark. This is a truly stunning shark to look at. It has a combination of many of the typical shark characteristics, like a long nose/snout, a short, stout body the long gills the gray body and white stomach. They also of course have black tips on some if not all the fins, from the pectoral to the dorsal to the pelvic and on. It may give this shark the appearance of being outlined, and draws attention to the muscular body. This is a requiem, viviparous shark that can differ so much within the species there is no true average size of groups that they travel in, however it is believed they are generally in groups. They generally will be in the range of around 5 feet. The females give birth every other year, to anywhere from 1 to up to 10 pups, who live in a nursery in their youth, in shallow, calm waters. Often these grown females will return to give birth in the nursery they grew up in…which is, in my humble opinion, incredibly endearing. If caught in a situation lacking males, the females can reproduce asexually. These sharks are quite quick, but are known to be milder for requiem sharks, only becoming aggressive if they feel their food is threatened which has caused them to be classified as slightly more dangerous to humans in their presence, and have a number of reported attacks. They are on the Nearly Threatened List as well as most on my countdown, as they are popular query amongst commercial and recreational fisheries. The coolest feature of these fish is their trademark spin jump for fish skimming the surface that shows off the beauty of those black tips as well as the strength of this sea creature.

                        BA DUM, BA DUMP, BA DA BA DA DUH DA DAH. Yes. At number 3, not one so HA, at number 3 is Brucie boy himself – Mr. Jaws. Although, the story that Peter Benchley based that on actually occurred more in Jersey and is believed to have been a Bull Shark – who is still to come on the list – but ya know, it’s a cool transition. That is right. Number 3 is the Great White Shark. That is not white. It is grey. It has a white underbelly. Again, The Great White Underbelly, not the same appeal, nor effect. So, the Great White is of course mainly known world over due to its size, made legendary in Benchley’s novel and the movie adaptation, which is much larger than reality – though achieving lengths upwards of 20 feet this is actually quite rare, yet with an average length of 15 feet there are no shrimps in this species... This shark’s first known fossils are approximately 16 million years old and is believed to be the direct descendant of prehistoric sharks. The shark lives all over, with large concentrations in California, Hawaii, and Australia (Southern) and of course South Africa, namely Seal Island where we were introduced to Air Jaws. This shark is deadly if it attacks, with the force of an average 20 foot long specimen displaying a bite force of 4,000 pounds of pressure. However, little is known about these sharks, as they tend to be illusive to scientists. They more than any shark, for obvious reasons (re: Jaws – novel, movie and sadly sequels) this shark above all others have a reputation of being a “man eater.” The number of shark attacks and deaths resulting from said attacks is way too low to lend any type of credence to this theory. Great Whites do not seem to target humans, and often the attacks are a result of mistaken identity, the shark thinking the diver or person on the surface is some other fish or hopefully (to the shark) a seal. Often, as long as not caught alone, after the first exploratory bite that the Great White gives, a diver (or swimmer) can be saved as the shark turns to come back, or swims off completely. They do not survive long in captivity, usually dying or being released due to poor health within a year, and never achieving its great size potential. When you hear me say that sharks are simply insanely misunderstood creatures, these Great Whites are generally the species that I have in mind. I mean, they have the nick name of white death. They have a bad rap. Trust me; the evidence proves they are a scape goat for –

                         The Bull Shark. Number 2 on Heather’s Sharktastic list. These sharks are nasty (WARNING SWEAR WORD COMING) bastards. There is literally no other way to describe them. They are called the Bull shark (most popular name, they have others) due to their short stockiness, flat snout and their crazy unpredictable behavior. As I said, Bull Shark is the most typical name but due to their wide spread locations they have many names. They are most likely going to be the ones responsible for shallow water attacks, and it is believed that the number of attacks is much higher than reported, as other species get the finger pointed at them. They are vicious creatures who have the ability to survive in fresh as well as salt water. I would love to explain how, but I am not in fact that scientifically minded. I know it has to do with the way their gills filter the water and the chemicals in their blood adjust. They do not require much depth, the deepest it generally dives is barely to 500 feet, and prefers to swim at a 30-50 foot range. That’s what I have. They can be anywhere from 2.5 feet to over 7 feet in length, and up to 700 pounds. They have a bite of up to 1,300 pounds of pressure. The females tend to be larger than the males. These sharks do not play nice with others, being very solitary hunters, sometimes going up to hunt in pairs, never more. They are nasty, and will attack not only if they feel threatened, but if they feel another is encroaching on their territory. They are also viviparous giving birth to a few live pups after a 12 month gestation period, and are one of the species believed to become aggressive in the womb with the dominant pups attacking and eating the others before birth. These ferocious apex predators have no true predatory threat as they do not back down from fights and are larger than many of their fellows. Though some diehards still cling to the rouge Great White Theory, most in the scientific community blame this species for the 1916 attacks that inspired Peter Benchley, due to the attacks that occurred in salt and fresh water, and mainly in shallow areas. This species is also on the Near Threatened list due to the long gestation and low birth rate mixed with human predatory hunting.             

                 Since I have gotten this to be lengthy somehow I have to withhold the number one Heather Shark. I know, there are tears, perhaps a few broken hearts. It is coming I promise – and it is already half written so it shouldn’t even take as long!! Really no promises though.

MY OH MY THE SHARKS (AT LEAST 10-6), TO QUOTE THE GREAT MR. JOSS WHEDON – GRR, ARGH

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                Okay, so no, sharks do not grr nor do they argh – but if I can bring it back to Joss Whedon, and by extension Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I will. Every time – so, I guess warning blog readers, warning. Any way in today’s Shark Week tribute blog, I intend to kind of go over the different types of more well-known sharks to show you that they really are just animals that do what they do, no need to be scared. They are truly just doing what is in their nature to do, and they are not hunting human kind, no “man-eating” killer sharks here. I do have to give another disclosure – these are my personal favorite species of sharks. I have researched and know these sharks as they are the ones that interest me the most. Disclosure – I am not a shark expert and these are the facts I know to be true and am always welcome to scientific correction. The ranking of sharks is my opinion ONLY.

                Number 10 on my list is the gigantic yet graceful Whale Shark. The Whale Shark is a filter feeding (feeds from straining water for food particles/matter) fish that grows to enormous length, the average being 31.82 feet and 9 tons– the largest recorded at 41.50 feet and 21.5 tons, though many have claimed to have seen larger. This shark enjoys warmer or tropical waters, and as far as science knows lives for about 70 years. Though they have been known mainly as filter feeders, there is some documentation of them feeding on small schools of fish, or in the area where fish have spawned. It is a five gill shark, with 300-350 sharp rows of small teeth. The shark has a grey body, white stomach and trademark yellow spots and stripes.  The Whale Shark is an active feeder. This gentle giant does not appear to pose any harm to divers at all, and many divers report having been able to “catch a ride” on them – though, responsibility screams at me to mention that the shark scientific community majorly warns against this. Breeding and birthing are pretty un-known, though it is believed that they give birth to a pup, not lay eggs.

                Number 9 is the Pacific Angelshark – which is shock of all shocks, a subspecies of the angel shark that is found in the Pacific Ocean. How do you like my investigative skills now, what, WHAT?? It is mainly the Eastern Pacific, This is a small shark, averaging about 5 feet, and they have the same characteristic Angel Shark features, the flat body and large pectoral and pelvic fins. They are ambush predators who target their victims by sight, concealing themselves on the ocean floor and attacking squid and spiny fish that venture close enough. Most stay in a hunting spot up to several days. They are largely nocturnal creatures, staying buried under the sea floor in the day. They are mainly solo creatures and they are what are known as viviparous breeders, having up to 6 pups at a time. They are not necessarily dangerous to mankind, unless provoked which can result in a major and painful bite. Sadly they are classified as a Near Threatened species, since their meat is much sought after and are hunted by professionals and sportsman.

                Next up at number 8 is the Silvertip Shark. This is a larger shark that can be easily identified by the white marks around the edge of its fin. It is found in both the Indian and Pacific Oceans, and can attain an average length of 10 feet. It is often spotted near coral reefs and near offshore islands, and can dive to depths as deep as 2,600 feet. They are also viviparous breeders, having up to 11 pups at a time, always in the summer season. They are a fierce predator that reigns over smaller fish and other requiem (live bearing, warm/fresh/brackish water, migratory) sharks similar in size, and often have scarred bodies to reflect their confrontational nature. They are not scared of humans, and since they are confrontational in nature, they are categorized as a threat to humans since they have no fear and often come close to divers. They are a huge target for hunters, as every part of them is coveted from their jaws/teeth to their fins to their meat. They join our friend the Pacific Angelshark on the Near Threatened Species list due to this.

                Give it up for the requiem sharks – cruising in at Number 7 on this very scientific list is the Grey Reef Shark. It has the typical reef shark features with a short and round snout and big eyes. They are fast swimmers, and the most common reef shark in Indo-Pacific region. They will always be found in the shallow water before the coral reef drop-offs (I know, again with my investigative skills…) and are actually quite small for sharks, average length attained is usually a little over 6 feet. What they lack in length these lovely sharks make up with in aggression. Being ironic, they are not territorial creatures, but quite social, often hanging out in groups of as up to as many as 20 in daylight, and breaking off to individual hunting routines at night. They too are viviparous (realizing at this point I have not explained that well, it is simply a creature that sustains an embryo or embryos through a placental connection) giving birth from 1 to 6 pups every other year. They were one of the first and most definitive species to go through what is known as the threat display – hunching their posture, dropping their pectoral fins and swimming side to side. They are seen as dangerous to divers, and you should watch for their tell-tale threat display if around them. Since they are suspect to commercial fisheries combined with their slow and low reproduction rates, they too are on the Near Threatened Species lists…are you seeing a trend?

                Sprint swimming into Number 6 is the beautiful Blue Shark There is nary a better shark to leave today’s blog with - and I do need to leave you wanting to come back for 5-1, right? They are of course a requiem shark, viviparous delivering large broods of 25-100 pups at a time and live for about 20 years to the best of our knowledge. They segregate into sexually specified schools also grouped by size, and have been called the “wolves” of the sea. They prefer cooler water and migrate large distances. Males range from 6 feet to 9 feet, and the female is larger at 7 feet to 11 feet, males reaching maturity at 4-5 years old, and females at 5-6 years old. Adult Blues do not have major predators outside of killer whales, while younger ones can fall victim to other sharks as well. They are typically slow moving and slightly lethargic, but can have great bursts of speed. They are not seen as hugely dangerous to mankind, with only a recorded 13 attacks on record, and 4 fatalities. They cannot be found on any lists and though upwards of 10 to maybe 20 million of them a year are recorded as hunted by humans, but their flesh though edible is not widely sought after, though they are sometimes sought after for sportsman due to their beauty and speed. They do not do well in captivity usually dying within 30 days – so let’s leave them in their natural habitat, please

                There you go…numbers 10-6 on Heather’s list of rocking sharks…trust me, you want to tune in tomorrow when I will let you know the awesomeness of the top 5 sharks according to Heather…trust me there is no science here at all, so if you want to see something interesting, I would keep tuned…

               

                                                                               

MY HAPPY WEEK

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                Yes, ladies and gentlemen. It is here. It is my happiest week of the year. There can be no substitution for this time of the year. Shark Week. It is a full week on the Discovery Channel of Great Whites, Tigers, Blues, Angels, Hammer Heads, and the Bull. It is almost like a time to see old friends on the television – catch up with what is happening with them.  I have to also say, don’t give me any Sharknado crap. I haven’t seen it, I won’t see it and it has nothing to do with Shark Week. It is yet another cheesy camp movie trying to use these apex predators to their advantage, playing on the base fear that exists in the human race of the unknown – a word that describes sharks pretty perfectly.

                Don’t get me wrong, the Discovery channel walks a fine, FINE line about using that base fear to draw viewers in and show how sharks are truly creatures that deserve to be respected and protected. What gets them viewers are definitely the shows like Air Jaws, Air Jaws 2, Ultimate Air Jaws, and the various countdowns of attacks, bites and “most dangerous” sharks. It is a gimmick however, if you see that once you flip to watch those shows, you get sucked in to listen and watch the shows that reflect the fact that sharks are millions of years old and that over time have evolved into the apex predators and creatures that they are. When I say millions of years, of course that is an understatement as it is believed these creatures came to be in between 455 – 425 MILLION years ago, putting sharks as one of the first creatures evolved past bacteria on earth – predating even the mighty dinosaurs. It is believed that over the ages they evolved, and having survived all 5 major extinction events, that shaped the modern shark that is believed to have been perfected at the end of Cretaceous period as the Dinosaurs died out around 65 million years ago.

                Some of these species still thrive today, mainly in deep waters. Of course, the shark that gets all the hype – the one that everyone thinks of when you say the name, is the Great White. The Great White is actually a young one, having only appeared on the fossil record 11 million years ago – though only the modern version, traces of them can be seen and traced back to the Cretaceous. The major shark that is extinct and has been buzzed about a lot over the past few years is Megladon, who many say have to have been the predecessor to the White. This is of course thought in most circles to be inaccurate – they in fact seemed to have co-existed for about 10 million years and avoided each other, the White in cooler water feeding off of seals and Megladon, who could grow up to 50 feet, in warmer waters feeding on the whale.  Hammerheads as a complete species are the babies of the shark family, first bursting onto the scene no longer than 50 million years ago.

                When you look at the dates, it is easy to see why sharks have evolved into what many call the perfect or apex predator.  At the end of the day however, sharks are literally just living their lives, doing what they came to do. They are major players in keeping the oceans ecosystems balanced. They are the perfect predator, but have thrived for 450 million years in the perfect environment, ruling the seas due to a lack of a natural predator. That is all changing now. Man has burst onto the scene as the predator that can wipe out these beautiful creatures who rule the sea. I fear what will happen if mankind allows its need to be master of all creatures to win, if we wipe out these magnificent beasts. I joke all the time about sharks just being misunderstood creatures, but a huge part of me is serious as well.  This week, I intend to use my blog as a little bit of a soapbox. I will be posting about sharks and trust me when I tell you, I am as pro-shark as I am pro-choice. Please flip to Discovery channel, and watch how these creatures want nothing from us but to be left alone.