IT’S A WRAP SHARK WEEK – UNTIL NEXT YEAR…SHARK WEEK 2014 – NATIONAL HOLIDAY??

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                        With the beginning of my happy time comes the knowledge that in a few days time, shark week will be over for the year. I always enjoy the programming, but every year I have a worse feeling that the true essence of what shark week once was is disappearing. 26-years ago, this was a week of what it set out to be – using the popularity of television and channels like the Discovery Channel to bring attention to the most misunderstood, scapegoated animals roaming – technically swimming – the planet today. Over time, there have been many changes to the weeklong programming, which incidentally is considered the longest running cable programming with 26 consecutive years having it.

            For 16 years Shark Week was aired with no host from 1987-2003, and for some reason the Discovery Channel decided that in 2004 they needed to remedy this. In 2004, the cast of American Chopper hosted, and then in 2005 the hosts continued up to this year. From 2005-2009 the hosts were the popular faces of the Discovery Channel, then in 2010 it all kind of went to hell. That was the year when there was no need to be a scientist at all to host shark week, with late night talk show host/actor Craig Ferguson taking the helm. Discovery Channel stayed with funny men, and in 2011 it was Andy Samberg, 2012 brought Philip DeFranco – online journalist, social media icon and this year we had comedian/actor Josh Wolf as our Shark Week Captain. Okay. I do not truly know why they ever introduced a “host.” I did not mind so much when it was the MythBusters, Les Stroud (Survivorman) or even Mike Rowe who had some kind of connection to Discovery Channel and added to the programming. I can almost give them this year, as Josh Wolf showed an enthusiasm that led to high ratings and interesting conversation on the new addition Shark After Dark a late night talk show that blew away the competition this week.

                New additions are nothing new to shark week. Every year they save the primetime rating hours (generally 8 PM – 11 PM) for their new shark programming. Every year they have about 5 – 7 new shows that they premiere to the devoted and often outspoken shark week fans, and yes, in that description me is included. More and more though, I have noticed that they are getting away from the shows that drew me in to begin with. I am not quite sure when shark week turned into Great White and a few other more well known Sharks Week but it does appear to have. There are few exceptions lately, and especially this year. I will give you that the above mentioned Shark After Dark was quite enjoyable. I will also say that I enjoyed Air Jaws: Beyond the Breach, but it was not as good as Alien Monster Sharks, Spawn of Jaws and Return of Jaws. For new programming, that was about it.

I am a huge Air Jaws but this behind the scenes look seemed to be just an attempt to fill a time slot with the progression of the scientist team over the years – but we have seen them, we know who Chris Fallows and Jeff Kurr are. I am excited to know they have a show coming next year, searching for Colossus who was introduced in last year’s Air Jaws. We have seen them get shot after shot people told them they never would – their shows depict the Great White as an apex predator, and not as a Great White Serial Killer – do NOT get me started. The rest – please. Great Whites are starting to target and hunt humans? Voodoo Sharks had potential had they gone with the Bull Shark science, but instead they chose to follow the people hunting down the non-existent giant mutation of Bull Sharks and I couldn’t even make it through it. The updated Shark Countdown was ridiculous and seemed an attempt to throw some new names out there and have some kitchiness going on. AND OH THE GREAT WHITES.  

Is Discovery Channel aware that there are other sharks? Not just the Bull, Tiger, Sand Tiger and Hammer Head, but Blues, Whale Sharks, All Reef Sharks?? How about more on the deep water sharks, or some specials on those who hunt the sharks and why? Instead of some REALLY STUPID AND NOT WELL DONE mockumentary – I mean, did you see those special effects? – how about an expose on Finning or sports hunters. That is really all I can say on that. That mockumentary was a disgrace, and defending it by saying well, you know, maybe Megalodon is out there, it’s a big ocean is UNFORGIVEABLE. With the seriously just flashed disclaimers that showed for seconds at most, people believed that show. They thought that this was a documentary presenting real evidence and there is no excuse allowable for Discovery not making the truth clear before the show, going to and coming back from each commercial break and at the end. Despicable.

I get that the attack shows and the Great Whites draw people that are not geeks, shark enthusiasts and science aficionados in for ratings but for some of what happened this year…wow. I will vote for more Shark After Dark, and even I enjoyed good old Bob the Shark and who could not get into the Snuffy promos. Shark enthusiast, including myself, can only hope that Discovery Channel takes a look at their programming and realize that when you are presenting this information to the public as a whole, they take it as their shark knowledge and run with it. Most people aren’t like me and my fellow sheeks (yup, that is how I refer to us shark geeks, you know you love it). They won’t go out and learn about sharks on their own. They aren’t going to research the details, or study the history. They don’t want to; they trust the Discovery Channel to present them with the actual facts, not theories, skewed views and outright lying mockups. So yes, I still love me some Shark Week, and can NOT wait for Shark Week 2014, I just hope that there is a return to basics somewhere in the future.

MY OH MY THE SHARKS, THE FINAL- I SWEAR

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

The main event now – the number one coolest shark according to yours truly. The Tiger Shark. This species is literally in a class itself, being the only species in the Galeocerdo genus. Overall picture, yes another requiem shark, though this shark is not viviparous, it is again the ONLY one in its class that is in fact ovoviviparous – though, I do have to admit the only real difference between viviparous and ovoviviparous is that in viviparous animals there is a placental connection and there is not in ovoviviparous, the unborn getting their nourishment instead from the yolk in their eggs. Female Tigers only mate every 3 years, generally in the months of March-May. The pups will gestate inside for up to 16 months. Again the females are often larger than the males; average length of the males is around 14 feet and 15 for the females.

They have a smaller body type than most of its rivals, with a very slim and straight-line design. They have bluish/greenish skin with a yellow or white belly. This is a great hunting advantage, as prey below the sharks will not see them when looking up. They of course have the dark stripes/spots running down their body that gives them their name; however these do fade with age. Tigers also have a smaller, wedge like head/snout, which makes turning easier for them, and have many sensory organs in their snouts and down their flanks to pick up the minutest of vibrations in the water, making them dangerous hunters since they can stay completely hidden in the dark. The Tiger Shark hunts alone, mainly at night. They are found in temperate or tropical waters, often in the central Pacific. This is a five gill shark, with 2 dorsal fins, and nictitating membranes to protect the eyes. They seem to have no real depth presence and have been recorded in water from 10 feet deep to depths of 3,000 feet.

Tigers are known for their ability and preference to eat ANYTHING from tiny fish to sea turtles – which seem to be a preference for adults. They also go after dolphins, to the point that science has evidence of dolphins avoiding areas with high Tiger Shark Populations. They are known to scavenge corpses of whales, and will actually join together to attack a whale in distress. These sharks are the epitome of the apex predator with their enhanced eyesight, sense of smell and sensory abilities. Since they have such highly developed hunting skills it is amazing that they have such a scavenger reputation that they are known in many circles as “wastebaskets of the sea.” Whether the water is clear or not, they will know exactly where their potential prey is located, and go forward with powerful bursts from their tail. They circle their potential victim, bumping it with their highly sensitive snout to investigate it – and when they are satisfied, they often take their prey whole. For larger victims it may take a few large bites. The Tiger is like a garbage disposal, and when cut open anything can be found in the stomach, from fish and turtles to horses, cats, and even rats to inanimate things like license plates, baseballs, and any other item the shark thought might be tasty. Though they like to swim lazily, barely moving their tail, they are actually quite good sprint swimmers and known as some of the strongest swimmers in the oceans.

This magnificent species has much lore around it, most notably in the Hawaiian culture. The Tiger Shark is known in Hawaii as one of their nā ʻaumākua – which is their version of a family God or deified ancestor. This type of God exists in many cultures, and is believed to be a deity or spirit that protects at least certain members of the family if not the family in a whole. It can also be tied back to the popular Hawaiian myth of Ka-moho-aliʻi who was located in the region of the waters between Maui and Kahoolawe. Mainly, when a ship was lost at sea, Ka-moho-aliʻi shook his tail in front of the lost and they would not only be feed, but also guided home. This God is often credited with being the one to bring the first citizens of Hawaii there.

There you have it. The number one, apex, best shark of the lot. I am sorry if your shark did not make my cut, but there you have it. Of course, this list is simply knowledge gathered after hearing something on a Shark Week show that piqued my interest and caused me to investigate something further. No science, nothing but my opinion and my reasoning’s. I welcome point counter point in the comments, because agree with the top ten or not you have to admit that as long as you have an opinion, the sharks may yet be saved. The Tiger, my favorite apex predator is also on the Nearly Threatened List. So many of these magnificent creatures are Nearly Threatened or at the beginning of actual Endangerment because of foolish reasons. Sport hunting the sharks, or commercial fisheries going after them for teeth, jaws, leather for shoes and belts, use in cosmetics.  They are also used in cancer research projects, but since the parts we need to use wouldn’t let them survive, they are killed for this too. Let’s not forget about Shark-Fin-Soup. This may be considered a delicacy in some lands, but most can agree it is a tasteless soup that is made to impress people not for gourmet reasons. For the sharks that are killed for Finning – the fin is less than 4% of their body weight. After they are removed the sharks are generally thrown back to die. Over 100 different species of the 450 known shark species are seen as being endangered since their long term survival can no longer be foreseen, and more on the Nearly Threatened List. For creatures directly designed from the “sea monsters” of the prehistoric era, the only true danger that they have faced is human kind – and we cry about them being killing machines, make movies depicting them as vicious, mindless killers. Irony at the highest level.

MY HAPPY WEEK

BY HEATHER MARLETTE

                Yes, ladies and gentlemen. It is here. It is my happiest week of the year. There can be no substitution for this time of the year. Shark Week. It is a full week on the Discovery Channel of Great Whites, Tigers, Blues, Angels, Hammer Heads, and the Bull. It is almost like a time to see old friends on the television – catch up with what is happening with them.  I have to also say, don’t give me any Sharknado crap. I haven’t seen it, I won’t see it and it has nothing to do with Shark Week. It is yet another cheesy camp movie trying to use these apex predators to their advantage, playing on the base fear that exists in the human race of the unknown – a word that describes sharks pretty perfectly.

                Don’t get me wrong, the Discovery channel walks a fine, FINE line about using that base fear to draw viewers in and show how sharks are truly creatures that deserve to be respected and protected. What gets them viewers are definitely the shows like Air Jaws, Air Jaws 2, Ultimate Air Jaws, and the various countdowns of attacks, bites and “most dangerous” sharks. It is a gimmick however, if you see that once you flip to watch those shows, you get sucked in to listen and watch the shows that reflect the fact that sharks are millions of years old and that over time have evolved into the apex predators and creatures that they are. When I say millions of years, of course that is an understatement as it is believed these creatures came to be in between 455 – 425 MILLION years ago, putting sharks as one of the first creatures evolved past bacteria on earth – predating even the mighty dinosaurs. It is believed that over the ages they evolved, and having survived all 5 major extinction events, that shaped the modern shark that is believed to have been perfected at the end of Cretaceous period as the Dinosaurs died out around 65 million years ago.

                Some of these species still thrive today, mainly in deep waters. Of course, the shark that gets all the hype – the one that everyone thinks of when you say the name, is the Great White. The Great White is actually a young one, having only appeared on the fossil record 11 million years ago – though only the modern version, traces of them can be seen and traced back to the Cretaceous. The major shark that is extinct and has been buzzed about a lot over the past few years is Megladon, who many say have to have been the predecessor to the White. This is of course thought in most circles to be inaccurate – they in fact seemed to have co-existed for about 10 million years and avoided each other, the White in cooler water feeding off of seals and Megladon, who could grow up to 50 feet, in warmer waters feeding on the whale.  Hammerheads as a complete species are the babies of the shark family, first bursting onto the scene no longer than 50 million years ago.

                When you look at the dates, it is easy to see why sharks have evolved into what many call the perfect or apex predator.  At the end of the day however, sharks are literally just living their lives, doing what they came to do. They are major players in keeping the oceans ecosystems balanced. They are the perfect predator, but have thrived for 450 million years in the perfect environment, ruling the seas due to a lack of a natural predator. That is all changing now. Man has burst onto the scene as the predator that can wipe out these beautiful creatures who rule the sea. I fear what will happen if mankind allows its need to be master of all creatures to win, if we wipe out these magnificent beasts. I joke all the time about sharks just being misunderstood creatures, but a huge part of me is serious as well.  This week, I intend to use my blog as a little bit of a soapbox. I will be posting about sharks and trust me when I tell you, I am as pro-shark as I am pro-choice. Please flip to Discovery channel, and watch how these creatures want nothing from us but to be left alone.